Surprised by Grief
When I finally surrendered to God earlier this month over His calling, I wasn’t surprised to see doubts and fears crop up, understanding that part of this “incubation” period is to work through them. What I wasn’t expecting was grief. It’s hit hard over the past few days, overwhelming me with its force. With doubts already present, it’s caused me to question whether I’m just fooling myself in believing that not operating in my favor (ie gifting and calling) has been the problem. Because maybe I’ve been the problem all along and maybe I’ll always be a “business flunky.” (Side note: that thought right there? It’s actually a sign the…
A Season of Rebirth
In a way, I feel like I’m being reborn. Of finally learning what it means to be who I authentically am – who God created me to be all along. And then living from that place. All my life, I’ve played it safe and held back from expressing deep down what I wanted to say and do even if, to others, it looked like I was taking risks. It felt safer to show up as I believed others wanted me to show up because then, if they rejected me, it wasn’t really me they were rejecting, but the persona I had adopted for that time and place. It felt safer…
